Oprah's 2020 Vision Tour Visionaries: The Rock Interview

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Problem solving is a wonderful skill to hone. This article talks about how that has changed the way we work and stay connected. Take a look at the article. 

What I Learned From the Inventor of Zoom

By Dr. Noelle Nelson 

If there's one thing I noticed about our sheltering-in-place time, it's that complaining did absolutely nothing about it. Complaining about the lack of work didn't magically produce more work, ditto lack of income. Complaining about the ordeal (challenge) of home-schooling (especially if more than one child was involved) didn't make it less onerous. Complaining about the lack of TP didn't make it grow on trees. In fact, all complaining did was annoy whoever else was around to hear it, and didn't make you much happier either.

Most importantly, complaining about the possibility of catching the virus didn't make it less probable, and if you did contract it, complaining about it didn't make it go away faster either.

Problem-solving is the obvious answer to all of our complaints. Looking for answers, resources, for help with any given situation is always the way.

One of the more fascinating solutions many of us found to our self-isolation, was Zoom. A phenomenal invention that most people had never heard of pre-coronavirus. After all, we had FaceTime and Skype, weren't those enough? Yet Zoom became the go-to for not-in-person meetings, rendezvous, and just plain chats.

Which got me wondering, how did Zoom come about in the first place? Love. I'm not talking about loving the planet and all those who inhabit it, I'm actually talking about the more common boy-meets-girl variety (or boy-meets-boy/girl-meets-girl, take your pick), the one-on-one type.

Eric S. Yuan, founder and CEO of Zoom, as a freshman in college in China had to take a ten-hour train ride in order to visit his girlfriend, now his wife, and although he road that train regularly (love will do that to you), he really detested the travel and tried to imagine other ways he could meet up with his girlfriend, travel-free. Some 15 or so years later, he was able to finally develop the virtual platform he'd dreamed of for so long. Zoom. Which is what has allowed us to connect with those we love, these many years later.

If Eric Yuan could do it, why not us? Why can't each of us take that thing we complain about the most and turn our complaining energy to better use, namely, problem-solving? Bitching about my inability to attend the ballroom dance lessons so dear to my competitive-ballroom-dancer-heart wasn't/isn't getting the COVID restrictions lifted any faster, and heaven knows ballroom-dancing is one of those up-close-and-personal sports likely to be last on the list of allowed activities.

Once I stopped whining, I decided to train myself to dance some new patterns, and to improve my basic technique one painstakingly slow day at a time. It's working. No, it's not what I'd like for the long term, but at least I feel that I'm being proactive and productive practicing in my kitchen, moving towards my ballroom goals. And when I flag, I remember Eric Yuan and how he developed Zoom.

What's that one thing you love to do, that you can't given our present circumstances? Or can't do as much of as you'd like? Or in the way you'd like to be doing it? Put your excellent creative mind to use (yes, you have one), and figure out some way to work on whatever it is within the confines of our present experience. It's far better for your heart, mind and soul than inflicting your groans and moans on everyone, yourself included.

Noelle C. Nelson, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, consultant, popular speaker in the U.S. and abroad, and author of over a dozen best-selling books. Dr. Nelson focuses on how we can all enjoy happy, fulfilling lives while accomplishing great things in love, at home and at work, as we appreciate ourselves, our world and all others. She is the author of "Happy Healthy... Dead: Why What You Think You Know About Aging Is Wrong and How To Get It Right" (MindLab Publishing). You Matter. You Count. You Are Important. Visit http://www.noellenelson.com, https://www.facebook.com/MeetTheAmazings,

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No One is the Same

 

No One is the Same

Even though thousands of women are diagnosed every year, no one deals with the news the same as another. There are similarities, but just because you dealt with your diagnosis one way doesn’t mean your sister, your friend, or your co-worker will deal with it the same as you.

The initial reaction to getting a diagnosis is varied, I remember I just sat there in shock. Even though I found my own lump and brought it to the attention of my doctor, it was still a stock. I love the question from my doctor, “Do you have any questions?” Really? I had so many questions but I couldn’t get any of them formulated at that moment. My brain had shut down, I was numb and my mouth and my brain felt disconnected.

Others burst out crying at the mention of cancer and other reactions stem all along the spectrum. Your family will also react in different ways, some helpful, others not so much. The victim in the family will act as if you are doing this to them. Others will be over emotional, some stoic. The thing to remember it isn’t your job to make everyone else feel better about your cancer. I think as women it’s what we do, but honestly, it’s not your responsibility. 

If people are too much for you to handle, allow someone else in your life to buffer those people and their emotions. You have enough of your own emotions to deal with without feeling the emotions of others. Suggest your contact be like it used to be, if you are friends that go to lunch, talk about the latest movies, do that. You haven’t changed, it’s still you, and you still like most of things you used to like. Cancer is a disease, it’s not contagious and it shouldn’t affect your relationships. But it does, so have the conversations necessary to come to an understanding of what that looks like. 

Don’t make assumptions that you or your peeps will react the same as others. Understand that it will be necessary to process emotions and the grief that goes with that. Time does heal, give yourself time and the space to process what your cancer experience effects and what that means to you, your family and your friends. Be open to talking about what’s going on with you both physically and emotionally. It’s ok to choose someone outside of your main circle who isn’t as emotionally vested. Practice on them then work toward having the similar conversations with those closer. 

Will Smith ON: Owning Your Truth and Unlocking the Power of Manifestation

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How To Let Go Of Resisting Difficult Feelings

My slogan is "Let go and let God" but I understand not everyone feels that way. But life can dish out some tough stuff that if we hold on to, it won't serve you well for your future. Check out this article. 

How To Let Go Of Resisting Difficult Feelings

By Tony Fahkry

Make Peace With Your Difficult Emotions

What emotions do you repeatedly struggle with? It is anger, shame, anxiety, fear or others? This year has been a year like no other, that exposed our negative emotions. However, if we don't deal with them, we are likely to re-experience them at a later time. It is easy to escape difficult emotions because who wants to face them time after time? But they can hold important messages, and when they keep re-emerging, it is a sign we need to heal or transform something in our life. The pain and suffering we experience are only a danger when they are at a distance from us. What do I mean by this? Our painful emotions are a danger because from a distance they cause us pain and suffering. But what if we become intimate with these feelings, instead of pushing them away?

That is, we get to know them on a deeper level, so we stop fighting and resisting them. For example, have you ever judged someone from afar, perhaps someone you didn't like? Then, you got to know them and discovered they weren't what you imagined? In fact, they were pleasant and likeable. The same thing happens when we befriend our difficult emotions. We invite painful feelings to come closer and in doing so, drop our resistance to them. Suddenly, they are no longer as frightening or overwhelming as we once thought.

When you make peace with your difficult emotions, they no longer have a grip on you and you discover joy and freedom in your life. This freedom was always there, but the difficult emotions obscured it. After all, painful emotions can't control you when you are intimate with them because the role of an emotion is to move through you, not get stuck in your mind and body. Yet, many people unknowingly hold on to negative emotions for years, even decades. In earlier articles, I mentioned the neuroanatomist Jill Bolte Taylor, who says an emotion takes two-and-a-half minutes to move through our nervous system.

Knowing this, it makes sense we get to know our emotions on a deeper level, instead of ignore them. So, to stop resisting difficult feelings, inhabit your body when they arise. For example, if you had a heated exchange with a friend or loved one and you experienced fear and anger, move into the area of your body where these emotions are present and sit with them. Be with them until the emotion dissolves and you will discover an expansive energy of love, joy and freedom. People often ask me: how long does it take to be free of negative emotions? Will it come back once I've done this exercise?

Heal And Transform The Pain Of Your Past

As mentioned earlier, it takes two-and-a-half minutes for an emotion to be processed through our nervous system. However, if we've ignored our difficult emotions for years, it may take longer to process them. There have been times I've experienced anxiety that lasted 30 seconds and other times, I experienced anger that lasted 30 minutes. It will depend on how long the emotion has been alive in our nervous system and whether we are willing to face it. Remember: difficult emotions teach us important lessons that we have ignored. They shine a light on something that requires our attention, otherwise they will reappear, perhaps as a disease or illness, if we are not mindful.

Are you satisfied that difficult feelings don't have to dominate your life? That you can make peace with them and learn the lessons they're trying to impart? It's worth getting this idea, so you are not destined to repeat the same mistakes. To paint another analogy, what if someone continually showed up to your front door, and you didn't answer? They might show up again until you open the door to see who it is. This is what happens with our difficult emotions. They keep returning and we turn them away because we don't want to deal with them. But we must learn to embrace our negative emotions because they can help us learn about our past, so we don't recreate it in the future.

So, if you've had a history of bad relationships with previous partners, pushing away your negative emotions may cause them to re-emerge in your next relationship. After all, you want to be in a healthy and loving relationship with a similar minded person, don't you? Then, it requires healing and transforming the pain of your past, so you don't recycle it in your next relationship. Otherwise, we will carry our emotional baggage from the past and unload it on our future partner, claiming it is their fault for triggering our painful wounds. But it is not their fault because the wound was already present and your partner is merely shining the light on the wound so you can heal and transform it. Therefore, to stop resisting your difficulties feelings, be open to the messages they carry and you will come to realise, everything has been working out perfectly for your highest good.

Do you want to lead a remarkable life? Are you committed to taking action despite your fears and doubts? If so, download your FREE copy of my eBook NAVIGATE LIFE right now, and start your amazing journey of greatness today!

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"To Thine Own Self Be True"

Here's another article about goal setting. If you get one thing that gets you closer to your goals, I call that a win. Check out this article. Let me know what you think. 

Goal Setting - "To Thine Own Self Be True"

By Andrew Papas 

Are you trying to rebuild your life?

*where do you see yourself one year from now?

*where do you want to be in the next 5 or 10 years?

Wrong values and wrong goals set you on the path to nowhere!

Unrealized dreams, untapped potential, wasted opportunities and unsolved problems can bring feelings of being at the mercy of the unknown.

Fear creates helplessness and anxiety that cause negative emotions about the future.

Life should reflect who we truly are to find our fulfillment in life and to maximize our potential.

"The saddest summary of life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have."

"To Thine Own Self be True!"

A future that is based on your interests adds value to life.

Values that are important to you should be used as guidelines within which to think and direct behavior.

Big or small, dreams can provide the direction through making goals and plans to reach them.

They can keep you going even through adversity, to climb the ladder of success.

"The starting point of all achievement is desire".

-Napoleon Hill

Your Conscience

Peace of mind is essential to being more productive.

The conscience is a part of an individual's value system that will tell you what is right and what is wrong.

Listen to your conscience to make wise choices.

Faith and Hope

Hope can mean the difference between giving up and going on.

Like a bright shining light, it creates a confident expectation to persevere and to endure anything and everything towards a brighter tomorrow.

Faith is the pathway to the power of your imagination that sees the positive in all situations.

"To one who has faith, no explanation is necessary. To one without faith, no explanation is possible."

Thomas Aquinas

Self-Confidence

Self-confidence is an attitude that reflects inner feelings and the self-image of the individual.

It is associated with optimism about future outcomes.

It means having faith in your choices and actions to accomplish desired goals, to create opportunities and to maximize your potential.

Knowledge and Experience

Knowledge is founded upon acquiring relevant information through experience or education.

Experience is practical and is gained over a period of time which help you develop skills.

Confidence grows as knowledge and experience increases.

Self-Discipline

Self-discipline is inner strength over yourself, your actions and your reactions to withstand difficulties, whether physical or emotional.

It gives you the determination to persevere to achieve your goals.

Health and Vitality

To achieve any goal in life you must have abundant energy that enables you to get through the day and provides that good-to-be alive feeling.

A well-balanced, nutritionally rich diet and exercise program is the foundation to that inner feeling of well-being and vitality.

Keys to healthy living:

*avoid the extreme and harmful

*moderation where necessary

*peace of mind

*self-respect

*a clear conscience

*spiritual fulfillment

Goal-Setting

Why be a puppet of fate, chance or wishful thinking?

A vivid vision of your ideal future opens your eyes to your goals and their end result.

Goals that are in line with your values and interests add purpose to life.

They motivate, establish priorities, give a direction and provide the energy to keep you focused on achievement.

Goals that seem complicated should be broken down into smaller step-by-step sub-goals - each small gain will bring you closer to your goal.

They help to overcome inertia (a tendency to do nothing) and build confidence with each sub-goal achieved.

Plans provide the resources needed to reach each goal.

Desire to achieve generates the power of action.

Persistence provides the continued effort to follow through despite obstacles - it is the difference between success and failure.

*your goals must be realistic

*your decisions must be based on relevant facts

*self management helps to get things done

*regular reviewing lets you know how well you are going

*motivation to achieve moves you to action

Power of the Mind

The mind and imagination are the tools of creation.

Optimism opens the path to self-fulfillment.

It keeps you constantly inspired to visualize a brighter future through positive actions.

Opportunity

The important thing about opportunity is the individual who:

*takes it when it comes along

*sets out to look for it

"Opportunities don't happen. You create them."

-Chris Grosser

Taking Action

To achieve any goal, initiative is needed to get started.

Examples of initiative include:

*innovative thinking

*goal-setting

*problem-solving

*creativity

*entrepreneurism

Passion that is enduring can transform your life.

*think about the possibilities.

*think about the rewards

Positive expectations bring positive results.

My name is Andrew Papas and I am an Internet Marketer and Self Publisher.

Affiliate Disclosure: I am an affiliate of Solo Build It! My goal is to bring together the best resources available and legitimate Online Business Opportunities that can work for you.

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Good Habits Support Good Results

If you are looking to change something in your life it starts with good habits. Start small, be consistent and you will start to see changes. Take a look at this article and I think you will find some very valuable tools for your life. 

Good Habits Support Good Results

By Susan Leigh

 

Are you perhaps feeling that now's the time to improve your health and your life? Good habits are often crucial to achieving good results and a positive outcome.

You may be looking to lose weight, become fitter, more successful, are motivated to do well at work or feel it's time to extend your circle of friends; all require sustained effort to continue beyond the first few enthusiastic days.

Let good habits support good results

- The first thing to appreciate about good habits is that they must have a real resonance for you. If you're not especially bothered about being slimmer, fitter or more successful, then that lack of enthusiasm won't sustain you through cold dark evenings or on the tough days when your will power starts to waver. Having friends or family who are pushing you to 'improve' only increases your stress levels, resentment and maybe even feelings of low self-esteem. Pick good habits that feel right for you.

- Small steps are a positive way to move towards your bigger goals. Stepping-stones can help to prevent you from feeling overwhelmed at having to tackle everything all at once. Recognise each milestone you achieve; give yourself credit for enrolling in that class, not eating that cake, declining that alcoholic drink. Each decision takes you nearer to those good results.

- Stay focused, but also appreciate that sometimes other options may appear which can add value to your life. Don't allow yourself to become too distracted from your agreed good habits but equally be ready for great opportunities that may come along. Ring-fence the time, money or mental energy you expend on distractions. Allow yourself to make the most of them and enjoy what they bring to your life, but don't let them take you away from the big picture and your ultimate goal.

- Being accountable to others can be a great motivator. Having to check in regularly and report on your progress ensures that you keep your eye on each stage of the journey. Knowing that you've a regular date in the diary can quickly push temptations out of your mind.

- Joining a group and working together on shared goals can provide a good support network. Exchanging tips, advice and motivational stories can give a real boost on those tired, unenthusiastic days. And if we know our attendance is important to the group's survival it can inspire us to continue going. Being a group member, even when it's online, can encourage us to stick with our good habits. The downside though is that if one or two members lose their enthusiasm it can demotivate the rest.

- Sometimes paying upfront to join a club or gym pushes people to go regularly, whilst others lose interest and go only a couple of times even after paying out all that money. For me, I've committed to a weekly delivery of locally grown organic vegetables. It's inspired me to eat at least one item from the box every day and it's good to cook from scratch, eat fresh organic meals, shop local and sometimes try new things that I've never cooked before. Having it arrive every week means there's no excuse to slack off from eating this healthy veg, and it's a habit I'm pleased to maintain.

- Be aware of your vulnerable areas and put steps in place to mitigate them. So, for example, if you know that you find reasons to justify stopping at the petrol station, off licence or supermarket every day, where you then 'accidentally' buy chocolates, wine, cigarettes or scratch cards, intercept those times and don't go. Instead, shop online or make a list and shop once a week. Don't put yourself in temptation's way.

- Using the services of a professional coach or therapist may be worth considering if you feel there are specific issues which are holding you back and which need to be addressed. Regular sessions could help you move on, introduce a positive mindset, manage stress and determine to treat yourself better.

Be gentle with yourself. It can take 2-6 months for a new habit to become your automatic default. If you experience slip ups, bad days and 'can't be bothered's be kind to yourself and let them go. Remind yourself of all the good reasons you have to persist and start again, knowing that by sticking with your good habits you'll ultimately support good results and outcomes.

Susan Leigh, counsellor, hypnotherapist, relationship counsellor, writer & media contributor offers help with relationship issues, stress management, assertiveness and confidence. She works with individual clients, couples and provides corporate workshops and support.

She's author of 3 books, 'Dealing with Stress, Managing its Impact', '101 Days of Inspiration #tipoftheday' and 'Dealing with Death, Coping with the Pain', all on Amazon & with easy to read sections, tips and ideas. To order a copy or for more information, help and free articles visit http://www.lifestyletherapy.net

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